I finished my last blog stating that I have decided that there is a God, but also that I am mad at him! After writing the post I started wondering if you can believe in God and be mad at him at the same time, and I decided that you can, so I still am. I understand, that by accepting that there is a God, I also have to accept that he created me, and that I am completely at his Grace. Is Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior? He might be, but first he needs to be moved off the s___ list and onto my good side!
The God I have been reading about lately, is not really a God, that encourages a lot of questions or doubts. Time after time the Bible states that God has something better in store for us, and that no matter what is happening in our lives, it is ultimately for the best! I guess we are dealing with limited atonement here, or the clay pot from Rom 9:21 The passage basically says that a potter has the right to decide what to do with his clay, just like God has the right to decide what to do with his creation. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about why God allows disease and suffering in the world, and I am not sure I have quite accepted the answer, but I do get that if you don’t know what bad is, then it is a lot harder to identify good. I know that I probably got MD for some reason that he knows and that I might figure out. That is why I am mad at him! He could give me a few hints here and there you know! I seem to just flow with the wind and try first one thing, then another without ever feeling completely fulfilled with what I do. See, if God would just give me a few pointers, I might be going in the right direction rather than just fumbling around in the dark! I know that sometimes I search for the answers in all the wrong places, by looking inside myself and not liking what I see. I am not sure I will ever be able to live up to the expectations I set for myself, a kind of opposite self-centeredness I suppose. Could God be trying to tell me to get real, and look at the world around me rather than the one within me? If he is, why then, do I keep searching for the acceptance of others, when I know that it will not lead to the acceptance of myself? Today I was reminded that when someone gives me a compliment, I get confused and don’t know what to do with it.
Sleep tight., if I have time, I will take on the really bad things tomorrow. In the big picture, MD is but a tiny crack in the polish of a clay pot, but in my world, it is everything when I allow it to be.
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
To Be or Not To Be
I am not sure where this will go today as I have a lot of different thoughts running through my head right now, so I may just let my fingers do the walking one more time and see what happens. I can start with an Albuterol update, still so far so good. The other day when working out in the pool I may have overdone my arm/shoulder work just a little bit as a woke up several times that night with pain in my shoulder. I was able to add weight to my dumbbells, and being the fool I am, I did 10 repetitions with the new weight, and then my usual 50 with my old weight….(Sorry Joe if you are reading this ;-) I just got a little carried away and proud of being able to make increases to my work out. So I guess the Albuterol update is mostly good. My shoulders are better, nothing a couple of Motrin couldn’t take care of.
While surfing the net I came across this quote, by Peter Kreeft. Kreeft is a professor of philosophy at Boston College. After reading it I kind of giggled, and told myself that you can’t really argue with that.
“Someone once said that if you sat a million monkeys at a million typewriters for a million years, one of them would eventually type out all of Hamlet by chance. But when we find the text of Hamlet, we don't wonder whether it came from chance and monkeys. Why then does the atheist use that incredibly improbable explanation for the universe? Clearly, because it is his only chance of remaining an atheist. At this point we need a psychological explanation of the atheist rather than a logical explanation of the universe“.
The reason why I giggled is that this could quite possibly be the simplest and most logical explanation or proof of a God that I have experienced thus far. Sure it is possible to put a million monkeys on a millions typewriters for a million years and have one of them type out Hamlet by chance, there is also a 50/50 chance of me winning the Lottery tonight. I either do or I don’t!!! Well actually I don’t because I don’t play.
The reason why I initially set out on this journey was to find a meaning in life. Why do I want to figure out the meaning of life? I know I risk boring you with my repetition of the fact that I have MD and that it sucks etc etc etc. Every day I get up and do my best to fight this disease, trust me, there is nothing fun about it, it is ugly, and so is cancer, CP, MS etc. I know that so far I am a lot better off than a lot of other people with MD, but that does not mean that it is not a fight. Think about it this way, there are 24 hours in a day, we all have certain things we need to do every day such as shower, eat, work etc. How often do you tell yourself that you wish there were 36 hours in a day rather than 24? Well guess what, if I want to live a “normal” life I actually need 36 hours. The moment I get out of bed in the morning, most of my day has already been taken away by the MD. I have to exercise to make sure my muscles don’t waste away, I have Dr’s appointments to go to not to mention the fact that everything takes longer. It takes me longer than other people to get to and from and in and out of the car. Going into a store takes longer, cleaning the house takes longer. All of the “take longers” are in reality wasted time, time taken away from me, time I wish I had so I could spend more time on want to’s rather than have to’s. I was listening to a Pod cast by Timothy Keller the other day, and his sermon hit right at home with me. Keller, said that the average person is afraid to ask what the meaning of their life is. He said that we are to busy to wonder, to busy to get on with our life. He gave a great example by stating that if he asked me to meet him at a specific place tomorrow I would want to know why, however, if he asked me for the meaning of my life I would not be able to answer him.
A while ago, I felt like Sisyphus, who every day would push a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down again. Every day I get up and do the same thing . I go to the pool, come home, go to work, go to bed and then get up and do the same thing over again the next day. It all seems so futile. “So what?” many of you will probably ask, and you have every right to ask that, most of you do the same thing. The point is, that I realized, long before most people my age, that we are fighting a losing battle, no matter what we do, we will lose in the end. Pushing the rock up the hill day after day after day makes me very tired. Several times I have asked myself why I keep pushing when the outcome tomorrow will be no different than today, the mountain could even be a little steeper tomorrow.
It was that realization that made me decide to look for a purpose in life, I have so many good things in my life, and I did not want the feeling of despair and meaninglessness to ruin it. The truth is, that people want to live, I want to live, but sometimes we are dealt a hand that simply isn’t fair, and we will start looking for something better. When setting out on my search I had no idea where I would go, my initial intention was to look into as many religions as possible, and try to find my own spirituality that way, a kind of intellectual quest. Well, that was before Sproul, Keller, Zacharias, and Lewis entered my life. It was before I carefully started asking people for directions. It was before I realized that there are no such things as coincidences in life, there are simply to many of them for them to be that, coincidences!
I have decided, that there is a God, there has to be. I have also decided that he is the Christian God who gave us the Bible, and created the world etc. It doesn’t make logical sense to me, but I cannot see how it makes emotional sense for him not to be there, it would take away the purpose of my life. But you know what? I am mad at him! I am mad at him because in order for my life to have meaning I have to believe in him! Other than the argument that my life has no meaning without God, there is always Kreeft’s argument, you can’t beat that, there has to be a God otherwise we would not have Hamlet.
Good Night
P
The atheist can't find God for the same reason that a thief can't find a policeman. Author Unknown
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
While surfing the net I came across this quote, by Peter Kreeft. Kreeft is a professor of philosophy at Boston College. After reading it I kind of giggled, and told myself that you can’t really argue with that.
“Someone once said that if you sat a million monkeys at a million typewriters for a million years, one of them would eventually type out all of Hamlet by chance. But when we find the text of Hamlet, we don't wonder whether it came from chance and monkeys. Why then does the atheist use that incredibly improbable explanation for the universe? Clearly, because it is his only chance of remaining an atheist. At this point we need a psychological explanation of the atheist rather than a logical explanation of the universe“.
The reason why I giggled is that this could quite possibly be the simplest and most logical explanation or proof of a God that I have experienced thus far. Sure it is possible to put a million monkeys on a millions typewriters for a million years and have one of them type out Hamlet by chance, there is also a 50/50 chance of me winning the Lottery tonight. I either do or I don’t!!! Well actually I don’t because I don’t play.
The reason why I initially set out on this journey was to find a meaning in life. Why do I want to figure out the meaning of life? I know I risk boring you with my repetition of the fact that I have MD and that it sucks etc etc etc. Every day I get up and do my best to fight this disease, trust me, there is nothing fun about it, it is ugly, and so is cancer, CP, MS etc. I know that so far I am a lot better off than a lot of other people with MD, but that does not mean that it is not a fight. Think about it this way, there are 24 hours in a day, we all have certain things we need to do every day such as shower, eat, work etc. How often do you tell yourself that you wish there were 36 hours in a day rather than 24? Well guess what, if I want to live a “normal” life I actually need 36 hours. The moment I get out of bed in the morning, most of my day has already been taken away by the MD. I have to exercise to make sure my muscles don’t waste away, I have Dr’s appointments to go to not to mention the fact that everything takes longer. It takes me longer than other people to get to and from and in and out of the car. Going into a store takes longer, cleaning the house takes longer. All of the “take longers” are in reality wasted time, time taken away from me, time I wish I had so I could spend more time on want to’s rather than have to’s. I was listening to a Pod cast by Timothy Keller the other day, and his sermon hit right at home with me. Keller, said that the average person is afraid to ask what the meaning of their life is. He said that we are to busy to wonder, to busy to get on with our life. He gave a great example by stating that if he asked me to meet him at a specific place tomorrow I would want to know why, however, if he asked me for the meaning of my life I would not be able to answer him.
A while ago, I felt like Sisyphus, who every day would push a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down again. Every day I get up and do the same thing . I go to the pool, come home, go to work, go to bed and then get up and do the same thing over again the next day. It all seems so futile. “So what?” many of you will probably ask, and you have every right to ask that, most of you do the same thing. The point is, that I realized, long before most people my age, that we are fighting a losing battle, no matter what we do, we will lose in the end. Pushing the rock up the hill day after day after day makes me very tired. Several times I have asked myself why I keep pushing when the outcome tomorrow will be no different than today, the mountain could even be a little steeper tomorrow.
It was that realization that made me decide to look for a purpose in life, I have so many good things in my life, and I did not want the feeling of despair and meaninglessness to ruin it. The truth is, that people want to live, I want to live, but sometimes we are dealt a hand that simply isn’t fair, and we will start looking for something better. When setting out on my search I had no idea where I would go, my initial intention was to look into as many religions as possible, and try to find my own spirituality that way, a kind of intellectual quest. Well, that was before Sproul, Keller, Zacharias, and Lewis entered my life. It was before I carefully started asking people for directions. It was before I realized that there are no such things as coincidences in life, there are simply to many of them for them to be that, coincidences!
I have decided, that there is a God, there has to be. I have also decided that he is the Christian God who gave us the Bible, and created the world etc. It doesn’t make logical sense to me, but I cannot see how it makes emotional sense for him not to be there, it would take away the purpose of my life. But you know what? I am mad at him! I am mad at him because in order for my life to have meaning I have to believe in him! Other than the argument that my life has no meaning without God, there is always Kreeft’s argument, you can’t beat that, there has to be a God otherwise we would not have Hamlet.
Good Night
P
The atheist can't find God for the same reason that a thief can't find a policeman. Author Unknown
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Quality time with Oakley
Some of you have at times shook your heads at me, and at my fascination with all the little critters you inevitably run into when you live by the woods in Florida. I may be a little crazy, but I can't help but name them, and become attached to them. We have a couple of skinks living in the carport, I named both Hammy as I can't tell them apart, the Danes reading this may follow my reasoning in naming the skinks Hammy since skink kind of sounds like the Danish word for ham. Anyway, last summer we had a snake that took up residence between the screen and the window pane in one of our living room windows. We have needed to get the screen fixed since we moved in. The snake was an oaksnake, and appropriately enough I named him oakley. I don't know a lot about the life of oaksnakes, but he disappeared around the end of October, and I have been worrying about him since then. This morning when I looked out the window, Oakley was back, he was sun bathing on the top of the AC unit. We immediately turned the AC off to make sure he would not accidentally fall in there and get hurt. I spent a long time just looking at him, and I was once again fascinated with nature. His patterns were truly beautiful, and the way he managed to crawl down the side of the AC using all the muscles in his body just amazed me, how did he not fall?
Unfortunately, I am also experiencing another aspect of nature today. A friend of mine from the pool I go to passed away earlier this week, and Tom and I will be attending the funeral in a couple of hours. Funerals are never fun, but they are never the less a part of nature or life.
Maybe the return of Oakley was meant to show me that for every end there is a new beginning. I know that it is probably not Oakley who is out there but that does not make my excitement any less.
I was reminded of the circle of life.
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Unfortunately, I am also experiencing another aspect of nature today. A friend of mine from the pool I go to passed away earlier this week, and Tom and I will be attending the funeral in a couple of hours. Funerals are never fun, but they are never the less a part of nature or life.
Maybe the return of Oakley was meant to show me that for every end there is a new beginning. I know that it is probably not Oakley who is out there but that does not make my excitement any less.
I was reminded of the circle of life.
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Friday, September 17, 2010
Slowly coming to an agreement ? Part III
It has been a while since I have talked about my search for a God. It is something that is still very much on my mind, and my understanding and appreciation grows every day. In addition to "deciding" whether or not to believe in God, the toughest part of the journey to me, is to truly understand the Bible. I was told there is actually very little understanding to do, the Bible is pretty straight forward. To me this means, that my resistance to organized religion is justified, there are so many different denominations, and if there is only one truth in the Bible, the denominations can't all be right. My search also greatly influences my mood and as I have expressed in a couple of recent posts, I have been dealing with some frustrations lately, my frustrations have not been of benefit to my search for God, actually the two seem vary directly, the more frustrated I get, the more I doubt that God exists, but I am still fighting.
Since writing "Slowly coming to an agreement? part II" I have been introduced to yet another thinker/writer/speaker. His name is Ravi Zacharias. So far Lewis has sparked my curiosity, Sproul has spoken to my intellect, Keller to the practical part of my brain, and Zacharias, in addition to the first three, also to my heart. He speaks to my heart because his writing and speaking is filled with compassion, respect, humor, and very relevant stories from his own life.
These four gentlemen have changed my life. For years I have not been challenged intellectually, and I am definitely getting that challenge now, and hope to never let go of that again. The challenge has actually turned into a battle in my head! Most people out there will confirm that I can be slightly stubborn at times, and that I don't like being wrong, not even if being wrong could prove to be a good thing.
The battle in my head is the battle between two armies, one telling the other that this is all good, this Christianity thing is pretty neat, there is this cool guy that suffered and died for us, AWESOME. And guess what, our soul could live forever in peace without the suffering we have to deal with right now.
The other army, the one that does not like being wrong fires back and says "yeah that is all fine and dandy, these four guys are a lot smarter than we are and ever will be, they are manipulating us, they want to turn us into their disciple, they want us to give away our personality. Come on get a grip, we have MD, deal with it, this is as good as it gets, quit chasing waterfalls!".
Does God exist or am I chasing waterfalls? I don't know, but I have decided to start praying, I am not asking God to magically cure me tomorrow, or tell me the score of the Vikings/Dolphins game on Sunday. Both would be nice, but I don't really think they are the things you pray about. I just have little conversations in my head at night before going to sleep, asking him to please help me figure out if he is real, because I really want him to be. I have nothing to lose.
Before I finish, I want to mention that the other day I got an email that really touched my heart. Tom and I have been asked to be sponsors for our new little nephew Taiten in Sioux Falls. I am honored and humbled to be trusted with that task, and do not feel I merit all the praise I got in the email. I will do my best to be the best sponsor I can!
You can learn more about Ravi Zacharias on http://www.RZIM.org
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Since writing "Slowly coming to an agreement? part II" I have been introduced to yet another thinker/writer/speaker. His name is Ravi Zacharias. So far Lewis has sparked my curiosity, Sproul has spoken to my intellect, Keller to the practical part of my brain, and Zacharias, in addition to the first three, also to my heart. He speaks to my heart because his writing and speaking is filled with compassion, respect, humor, and very relevant stories from his own life.
These four gentlemen have changed my life. For years I have not been challenged intellectually, and I am definitely getting that challenge now, and hope to never let go of that again. The challenge has actually turned into a battle in my head! Most people out there will confirm that I can be slightly stubborn at times, and that I don't like being wrong, not even if being wrong could prove to be a good thing.
The battle in my head is the battle between two armies, one telling the other that this is all good, this Christianity thing is pretty neat, there is this cool guy that suffered and died for us, AWESOME. And guess what, our soul could live forever in peace without the suffering we have to deal with right now.
The other army, the one that does not like being wrong fires back and says "yeah that is all fine and dandy, these four guys are a lot smarter than we are and ever will be, they are manipulating us, they want to turn us into their disciple, they want us to give away our personality. Come on get a grip, we have MD, deal with it, this is as good as it gets, quit chasing waterfalls!".
Does God exist or am I chasing waterfalls? I don't know, but I have decided to start praying, I am not asking God to magically cure me tomorrow, or tell me the score of the Vikings/Dolphins game on Sunday. Both would be nice, but I don't really think they are the things you pray about. I just have little conversations in my head at night before going to sleep, asking him to please help me figure out if he is real, because I really want him to be. I have nothing to lose.
Before I finish, I want to mention that the other day I got an email that really touched my heart. Tom and I have been asked to be sponsors for our new little nephew Taiten in Sioux Falls. I am honored and humbled to be trusted with that task, and do not feel I merit all the praise I got in the email. I will do my best to be the best sponsor I can!
You can learn more about Ravi Zacharias on http://www.RZIM.org
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Picking up the pieces
When I posted my last post, only about five minutes ago, I noticed that I had had exactly 1000 hits on my blog. HOLY COW I don't even know that many people, so thank you to those of you who keep reading time after time. I also know I have emails I need to respond to, they will come!
As many of you probably noticed I did not have a good day on Monday, I have received a lot of positive feedback on the post. OK the good ship Denial narrowly escaped the hurricane, but it was definitely side swept by it, and even though a side swipe is not as bad as a direct hit, it still requires some cleaning up. I am still working on picking up the pieces I dropped on Monday. I am not yet sure where to start, for those of you who have experienced a tropical system, you will know that it can be followed by a lot of rain for a few days, making it hard to determine where to begin.
Seeing people with MD on TV, somehow triggered a reaction to my biggest fear, I shouldn't have watched the show, it was stupid of me. It turned me into a petty, jealous person, wanting other people to hurt the way I do. The truth is, I would never wish this or any chronic disease on anyone.
On Monday I had a feeling of getting no return on my investment, deep inside I know I am getting some kind of return, just not the kind I am looking for. Yesterday I went shopping alone at Kohl's for the first time in who knows how long, that is a victory, but being who I am, I want the mall, Kohl's, despite their awesome clearance racks, just isn't good enough.
For the entire week I felt absolutely no inspiration to write, my honesty on Monday actually scared me, I let you see the weak me. I want to be this strong person, who isn't intimidated by much. A person who faces her fate with grace and dignity and not with self pity, pettiness, and self loathing. The truth is that sometimes life intimidates the crap out of me, and when that happens I just want to throw my hands in the air, curl up into a little ball roll into a corner, and ask y'all to please leave me alone! Did you know that that is the hardest but most important urge to fight? Once you are curled up, uncurling is very hard to do, and I am the only one who will be able to do it, I am the only one who can decide to continue my fight.
However, when I feel the support from Tom, from my family, from you, from my friends at the pool, and from the stranger, who told me that I was a true inspiration to her, it is a little easier to stay uncurled.
My five good things for today are:
I get to spend the afternoon watching football with friends, I don't like football, but I do like my friends
I am bringing Bowl of Cheese and may even eat a little of it even though it spells instant heart attack
James is lying on my feet
I have great friends who without knowing it helped me figure out where to start cleaning up after the near hit
Tom and I got to watch a humming bird in the backyard earlier.
Peace!
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
As many of you probably noticed I did not have a good day on Monday, I have received a lot of positive feedback on the post. OK the good ship Denial narrowly escaped the hurricane, but it was definitely side swept by it, and even though a side swipe is not as bad as a direct hit, it still requires some cleaning up. I am still working on picking up the pieces I dropped on Monday. I am not yet sure where to start, for those of you who have experienced a tropical system, you will know that it can be followed by a lot of rain for a few days, making it hard to determine where to begin.
Seeing people with MD on TV, somehow triggered a reaction to my biggest fear, I shouldn't have watched the show, it was stupid of me. It turned me into a petty, jealous person, wanting other people to hurt the way I do. The truth is, I would never wish this or any chronic disease on anyone.
On Monday I had a feeling of getting no return on my investment, deep inside I know I am getting some kind of return, just not the kind I am looking for. Yesterday I went shopping alone at Kohl's for the first time in who knows how long, that is a victory, but being who I am, I want the mall, Kohl's, despite their awesome clearance racks, just isn't good enough.
For the entire week I felt absolutely no inspiration to write, my honesty on Monday actually scared me, I let you see the weak me. I want to be this strong person, who isn't intimidated by much. A person who faces her fate with grace and dignity and not with self pity, pettiness, and self loathing. The truth is that sometimes life intimidates the crap out of me, and when that happens I just want to throw my hands in the air, curl up into a little ball roll into a corner, and ask y'all to please leave me alone! Did you know that that is the hardest but most important urge to fight? Once you are curled up, uncurling is very hard to do, and I am the only one who will be able to do it, I am the only one who can decide to continue my fight.
However, when I feel the support from Tom, from my family, from you, from my friends at the pool, and from the stranger, who told me that I was a true inspiration to her, it is a little easier to stay uncurled.
My five good things for today are:
I get to spend the afternoon watching football with friends, I don't like football, but I do like my friends
I am bringing Bowl of Cheese and may even eat a little of it even though it spells instant heart attack
James is lying on my feet
I have great friends who without knowing it helped me figure out where to start cleaning up after the near hit
Tom and I got to watch a humming bird in the backyard earlier.
Peace!
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
The tale of the missing post....
Last night I spent quite a while writing this post, as usual I took a break publishing to remove myself from it, and allow for any additional editing if needed, when I returned to do my editing, the post had gone missing, and I still haven't found it. Tom, who is a conspiracy theorist, thinks the government took it. If any of you run into it let me know, it was quite a bit better than what I have come up with today. On the left side of the homepage of the blog you will see some links I put in under the heading only two more days. They are articles and blogs I found interesting Yesterday.
I had initially decided that I was not going to comment on 9/11 or on the controversy in connection with the burning of the Quran and the building of the Islamic Cultural Center or Mosque or whatever you want to call it near Ground Zero. I didn't think I had anything to add, and I probably don't, but a few things kept nagging me. The thing that made me decide to write about 9/11, Pastor Jones, and the Cultural Center anyway was when a student made a comment that made me stop dead in my tracks Thursday night. We were just beginning our last hour of instruction when a high school freshman sat down at my table. After sitting down he said "Only two more days!". I thought that perhaps he was referring to an upcoming birthday or other exciting event a 14 year old looks forward to. Nothing was further from my mind than the answer I got when I asked him what was going to happen in two days, he said "It is the burning of the Quran day". My chin dropped, and in order for me to save the situation and prevent a discussion, the only response I could give him was "Religion and Politics have no place at this table, so please do not mention this issue again!". The expression of horror on my face must have been so obvious that this student, who usually takes pride in seeing how far he can push me before I crack and raise my voice at him (for those of you who don't know, one of Sylvan's policies is that it is never necessary to raise your voice at a child), actually got quiet and said "Yeah, I really don't agree with it either, I was just kidding".
Was he kidding? I don't know, I hope he was, but the comment was obviously not taken from out of the blue, this young man had heard it made somewhere, and obviously thought it appropriate to repeat in a semi public setting. The comment made me reflect on quite a few issues both in connection with the anniversary of 9/11, but also in how we are living in a society driven by ignorance and fear.
As of now, the burning of the Quran, is canceled, I am not sure what Pastor Jones's motives for the cancellation are, I can only guess, but I am sure he at some point will proclaim himself some kind of hero. He will probably not waste any time telling the world how he took the high road by canceling the burning. Deep inside I think we all know that the Muslim Cultural Center will not be moved, and frankly I don't think it should be moved. I know that some of you may be outraged about what I just wrote, and that is fine. You are entitled to being angry with me, you have a first amendment right to, but before you stop reading, and write me off as an unpatriotic, insensitive atheist supporting the enemy, please consider what I have to say.
First of all, I am not unpatriotic, quite the opposite, the Muslim community is entitled to build their Cultural Center wherever they want because of their constitutional right to free religion, how would you like it if I told you that you couldn't put your church at the end of my street because half way down my street a Christian extremist hit me in my car on purpose because he didn't like my lifestyle?. Should a few extremists allow for an entire population to be hated and feared? Think about it!!! Could a better location have been chosen, or could more communication have taken place before deciding on where to build the Mosque, absolutely, but I do not think the location was chosen as a way to provoke unrest between Christians and Muslims. Imam Rauf (the Imam behind the center) even said in an interview with Soledad O'Brien, that had he known the controversy this would create he would have reconsidered the location, or at least tried to negotiate an acceptable solution for all parties.
Am I an insensitive atheist supporting the enemy, absolutely not! As most of you know I have been on a quest lately to figure out what this Christianity thing is, and whether or not it has any truth to it. I have learned a lot, and have to some extent accepted that there may be a God, and that Jesus Christ may be his son, at least something is stirring out there. No I am not an atheist supporting the enemy, I just don't want history to repeat itself, and judging other people is not my job but God's. I encourage you all to follow this link, and read John Blake's blog posting on the burning of holy books, I could not have written it better myself http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/10/would-muslim-burn-the-bible/
This actually brings me to the core or my main reason for deciding to write the post even though I really didn't want to. Right now we live in a world run by a sensationalist media always looking for the next big story, along with a lot of people more than willing to provide it. The only thing I think we are getting from this is a society of scared, gullible, and ignorant people. Yeah I am calling us gullible and ignorant. Most of us have received our religious education through Sunday school in our respective churches, and lets face it, how likely is Sunday school at the Lutheran church down on the corner to introduce it's children to Islam, Catholicism, Judaism, Buddhism....? We are not being taught in school because of the separation of church and state, and a bunch of fools not wanting their children exposed to any religion at all. We are all left to either believe what we see on TV or to make ourselves study these other religions in order to understand them, and determine if they really are as evil as we think they are. How many of you have felt compelled to stop by the religion section at the library and browse through all the different books on religion?
It is easy to believe everything you see on TV, and for some reason I think that we, as people are conditioned to think that the louder a person yells, the more right he/she is. Pastor Jones is one of the people who yells really loud, his church has about 50 members, and he has managed to get coverage all over the world. He has managed to make people believe that it is OK to burn the Quran because..., well why did he make us believe that it is OK? I think that was forgotten somewhere in the shuffle because we were to busy listening to Glenn Beck comparing the burning of the Quran with the construction of the Islamic Cultural Center. We can't forget that we also had to determine whether or not having Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars was a good idea, and if Snooki or whatever the obnoxious chubby person using up oxygen and taking up valuable airspace on TV is called should have painted her nails pink or green.
We my dears, have become a nation of complacent, ignorant, scared, gullible people, suffering from a severe case of group think. I think it is time for all of us in the "middle" to stand up and ask these extremists to STOP in the name of humanity. We do not want to live in a state of constant fear, we do not want our high school freshmen to think that it is cool to be excited about the planned destruction of a holy book. We need to stand up for our future, we need to set an example for our teenagers and show them that intolerance and ignorance is unacceptable. We need to raise educated children, who are capable of questioning what they see and hear, we need to let them know that Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, and Glenn Beck are the very loud minority, there is a middle, a middle in which we can at least attempt to communicate. If after reviewing as much of the information as possible people still agree with Sharpton or Beck, then so be it, at least an educated decision was made.
Appropriately enough, Tom and I watched the movie Good Night and Good Luck last night, this world needs more Edward R Murrow's, and I will quote his last lines from the movie, and hope that we will all open our eyes to what is going on:
"To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporters opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are
right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends.
Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. Good night, and good luck."
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
I had initially decided that I was not going to comment on 9/11 or on the controversy in connection with the burning of the Quran and the building of the Islamic Cultural Center or Mosque or whatever you want to call it near Ground Zero. I didn't think I had anything to add, and I probably don't, but a few things kept nagging me. The thing that made me decide to write about 9/11, Pastor Jones, and the Cultural Center anyway was when a student made a comment that made me stop dead in my tracks Thursday night. We were just beginning our last hour of instruction when a high school freshman sat down at my table. After sitting down he said "Only two more days!". I thought that perhaps he was referring to an upcoming birthday or other exciting event a 14 year old looks forward to. Nothing was further from my mind than the answer I got when I asked him what was going to happen in two days, he said "It is the burning of the Quran day". My chin dropped, and in order for me to save the situation and prevent a discussion, the only response I could give him was "Religion and Politics have no place at this table, so please do not mention this issue again!". The expression of horror on my face must have been so obvious that this student, who usually takes pride in seeing how far he can push me before I crack and raise my voice at him (for those of you who don't know, one of Sylvan's policies is that it is never necessary to raise your voice at a child), actually got quiet and said "Yeah, I really don't agree with it either, I was just kidding".
Was he kidding? I don't know, I hope he was, but the comment was obviously not taken from out of the blue, this young man had heard it made somewhere, and obviously thought it appropriate to repeat in a semi public setting. The comment made me reflect on quite a few issues both in connection with the anniversary of 9/11, but also in how we are living in a society driven by ignorance and fear.
As of now, the burning of the Quran, is canceled, I am not sure what Pastor Jones's motives for the cancellation are, I can only guess, but I am sure he at some point will proclaim himself some kind of hero. He will probably not waste any time telling the world how he took the high road by canceling the burning. Deep inside I think we all know that the Muslim Cultural Center will not be moved, and frankly I don't think it should be moved. I know that some of you may be outraged about what I just wrote, and that is fine. You are entitled to being angry with me, you have a first amendment right to, but before you stop reading, and write me off as an unpatriotic, insensitive atheist supporting the enemy, please consider what I have to say.
First of all, I am not unpatriotic, quite the opposite, the Muslim community is entitled to build their Cultural Center wherever they want because of their constitutional right to free religion, how would you like it if I told you that you couldn't put your church at the end of my street because half way down my street a Christian extremist hit me in my car on purpose because he didn't like my lifestyle?. Should a few extremists allow for an entire population to be hated and feared? Think about it!!! Could a better location have been chosen, or could more communication have taken place before deciding on where to build the Mosque, absolutely, but I do not think the location was chosen as a way to provoke unrest between Christians and Muslims. Imam Rauf (the Imam behind the center) even said in an interview with Soledad O'Brien, that had he known the controversy this would create he would have reconsidered the location, or at least tried to negotiate an acceptable solution for all parties.
Am I an insensitive atheist supporting the enemy, absolutely not! As most of you know I have been on a quest lately to figure out what this Christianity thing is, and whether or not it has any truth to it. I have learned a lot, and have to some extent accepted that there may be a God, and that Jesus Christ may be his son, at least something is stirring out there. No I am not an atheist supporting the enemy, I just don't want history to repeat itself, and judging other people is not my job but God's. I encourage you all to follow this link, and read John Blake's blog posting on the burning of holy books, I could not have written it better myself http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/10/would-muslim-burn-the-bible/
This actually brings me to the core or my main reason for deciding to write the post even though I really didn't want to. Right now we live in a world run by a sensationalist media always looking for the next big story, along with a lot of people more than willing to provide it. The only thing I think we are getting from this is a society of scared, gullible, and ignorant people. Yeah I am calling us gullible and ignorant. Most of us have received our religious education through Sunday school in our respective churches, and lets face it, how likely is Sunday school at the Lutheran church down on the corner to introduce it's children to Islam, Catholicism, Judaism, Buddhism....? We are not being taught in school because of the separation of church and state, and a bunch of fools not wanting their children exposed to any religion at all. We are all left to either believe what we see on TV or to make ourselves study these other religions in order to understand them, and determine if they really are as evil as we think they are. How many of you have felt compelled to stop by the religion section at the library and browse through all the different books on religion?
It is easy to believe everything you see on TV, and for some reason I think that we, as people are conditioned to think that the louder a person yells, the more right he/she is. Pastor Jones is one of the people who yells really loud, his church has about 50 members, and he has managed to get coverage all over the world. He has managed to make people believe that it is OK to burn the Quran because..., well why did he make us believe that it is OK? I think that was forgotten somewhere in the shuffle because we were to busy listening to Glenn Beck comparing the burning of the Quran with the construction of the Islamic Cultural Center. We can't forget that we also had to determine whether or not having Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars was a good idea, and if Snooki or whatever the obnoxious chubby person using up oxygen and taking up valuable airspace on TV is called should have painted her nails pink or green.
We my dears, have become a nation of complacent, ignorant, scared, gullible people, suffering from a severe case of group think. I think it is time for all of us in the "middle" to stand up and ask these extremists to STOP in the name of humanity. We do not want to live in a state of constant fear, we do not want our high school freshmen to think that it is cool to be excited about the planned destruction of a holy book. We need to stand up for our future, we need to set an example for our teenagers and show them that intolerance and ignorance is unacceptable. We need to raise educated children, who are capable of questioning what they see and hear, we need to let them know that Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, and Glenn Beck are the very loud minority, there is a middle, a middle in which we can at least attempt to communicate. If after reviewing as much of the information as possible people still agree with Sharpton or Beck, then so be it, at least an educated decision was made.
Appropriately enough, Tom and I watched the movie Good Night and Good Luck last night, this world needs more Edward R Murrow's, and I will quote his last lines from the movie, and hope that we will all open our eyes to what is going on:
"To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporters opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are
right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends.
Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. Good night, and good luck."
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
Monday, September 6, 2010
The good ship Denial
I have started my fourth week of albuterol, and I have good news to report. No miracles, but I still feel some increase in my strength, they are just little things, but they are none the less noticeable not only by me, but also by others. Keep your fingers crossed that this keeps up, I like it.
As most of you know, today is Labor Day, which means that the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon is on. I just turned the TV to channel 9 here in Tallahassee, it appears that a lot of local businesses are making donations, but the people picking up the phones are not overly stressed. Check out your local tv station, and if they look as bored as they do here in Tallahassee, consider making a call.... 1-800-631-0746 or go to http://www.mda.org We need the money, not just for the kids, but also for us adults. We need funding for research, research is our only hope. Thank you to those of you who donated on my website as well.
Before I was diagnosed with MD the telethon was just something that was on TV on Labor Day, some kind of boring show that was on all day. I am not even sure we ever donated money, I had no idea what MD was. Well that has changed. I still don't watch the show, but now it is for a different reason. The reason why I don't watch the show now, is that it rocks my boat, the boat I sail in every day called Denial.
My life is different from the lives of most of you, well, everybody's life is different, but there are things I do differently. I don't just run to the store, I don't just do a lot of things that most people take for granted. I have learned to live with the way my situation is right now, I don't like it, and at times I get angry and call myself names. I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am, my heart breaks for every single one of them/you, but I take no solace in it, people are by nature selfish.
I have only met one other person with MD, and he is a 11 year old boy. His mother works in our local grocery store, and I met him at an outdoors event about a year and a half ago. His MD is different than mine, with different symptoms and progression. I don't relate to people with MD. When I turned the TV on to the telethon about an hour ago, the good ship hit a hurricane. There was a little "intermission" where they showed a video of people with MD, and my brain immediately said: "that is not me, it can't be". I know I am a long way away from the pictures they showed of people needing lifts etc to get from their bed to their chair etc, but it none the less became very real to me in just one moment. It made me sad, sad for the people I saw, but mostly I felt sad for myself, I felt self pity, anger, and grief. Even though I try to have a positive outlook on life, my ship will sometimes get hit by a hurricane, and then there is very little I can do to steer it. The reality of my life is that I will more than likely at some point be 100% dependent on other people. On a good day I will tell myself that we probably all will at some point or another, but on a day like today, where it is a little windy around me, I feel sad that it will probably happen to me a lot sooner than it will happen to everybody else.
Unfortunately this feeling of self pity, sadness, depression or whatever you want to call it, brings out a side of me that I don't like, namely the jealous side. Yeah, sometimes I am jealous, and there is nothing I can do about it. I am never jealous of people who have had to work to get what they want, or people who don't show off, but on days like today I have a very hard time feeling happy for people who make big problems out of small issues.
A few weeks ago I was encouraged to write down five good things about the day every day, I am not as good at it is a probably should be, but I have decided to share my good things with you today, maybe it will help the hurricane blow over.
Today is a good day because:
1. I get to spend it with Tom, James, and Clifford in our wonderful house!
2. The sun is shining, and I get to sit outside and enjoy it. (while watching Tom mow the lawn??)
3. I am going to a BBQ later
4. I have a lot of people who care about me.
5. I woke up and I am still able to do everything I was able to do Yesterday!
Enjoy your day, each other, and what you have. Hurricanes can come on quicker than you think!
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
As most of you know, today is Labor Day, which means that the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon is on. I just turned the TV to channel 9 here in Tallahassee, it appears that a lot of local businesses are making donations, but the people picking up the phones are not overly stressed. Check out your local tv station, and if they look as bored as they do here in Tallahassee, consider making a call.... 1-800-631-0746 or go to http://www.mda.org We need the money, not just for the kids, but also for us adults. We need funding for research, research is our only hope. Thank you to those of you who donated on my website as well.
Before I was diagnosed with MD the telethon was just something that was on TV on Labor Day, some kind of boring show that was on all day. I am not even sure we ever donated money, I had no idea what MD was. Well that has changed. I still don't watch the show, but now it is for a different reason. The reason why I don't watch the show now, is that it rocks my boat, the boat I sail in every day called Denial.
My life is different from the lives of most of you, well, everybody's life is different, but there are things I do differently. I don't just run to the store, I don't just do a lot of things that most people take for granted. I have learned to live with the way my situation is right now, I don't like it, and at times I get angry and call myself names. I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am, my heart breaks for every single one of them/you, but I take no solace in it, people are by nature selfish.
I have only met one other person with MD, and he is a 11 year old boy. His mother works in our local grocery store, and I met him at an outdoors event about a year and a half ago. His MD is different than mine, with different symptoms and progression. I don't relate to people with MD. When I turned the TV on to the telethon about an hour ago, the good ship hit a hurricane. There was a little "intermission" where they showed a video of people with MD, and my brain immediately said: "that is not me, it can't be". I know I am a long way away from the pictures they showed of people needing lifts etc to get from their bed to their chair etc, but it none the less became very real to me in just one moment. It made me sad, sad for the people I saw, but mostly I felt sad for myself, I felt self pity, anger, and grief. Even though I try to have a positive outlook on life, my ship will sometimes get hit by a hurricane, and then there is very little I can do to steer it. The reality of my life is that I will more than likely at some point be 100% dependent on other people. On a good day I will tell myself that we probably all will at some point or another, but on a day like today, where it is a little windy around me, I feel sad that it will probably happen to me a lot sooner than it will happen to everybody else.
Unfortunately this feeling of self pity, sadness, depression or whatever you want to call it, brings out a side of me that I don't like, namely the jealous side. Yeah, sometimes I am jealous, and there is nothing I can do about it. I am never jealous of people who have had to work to get what they want, or people who don't show off, but on days like today I have a very hard time feeling happy for people who make big problems out of small issues.
A few weeks ago I was encouraged to write down five good things about the day every day, I am not as good at it is a probably should be, but I have decided to share my good things with you today, maybe it will help the hurricane blow over.
Today is a good day because:
1. I get to spend it with Tom, James, and Clifford in our wonderful house!
2. The sun is shining, and I get to sit outside and enjoy it. (while watching Tom mow the lawn??)
3. I am going to a BBQ later
4. I have a lot of people who care about me.
5. I woke up and I am still able to do everything I was able to do Yesterday!
Enjoy your day, each other, and what you have. Hurricanes can come on quicker than you think!
P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com
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