Saturday, September 25, 2010

To Be or Not To Be

I am not sure where this will go today as I have a lot of different thoughts running through my head right now, so I may just let my fingers do the walking one more time and see what happens. I can start with an Albuterol update, still so far so good. The other day when working out in the pool I may have overdone my arm/shoulder work just a little bit as a woke up several times that night with pain in my shoulder. I was able to add weight to my dumbbells, and being the fool I am, I did 10 repetitions with the new weight, and then my usual 50 with my old weight….(Sorry Joe if you are reading this ;-) I just got a little carried away and proud of being able to make increases to my work out. So I guess the Albuterol update is mostly good. My shoulders are better, nothing a couple of Motrin couldn’t take care of.

While surfing the net I came across this quote, by Peter Kreeft. Kreeft is a professor of philosophy at Boston College. After reading it I kind of giggled, and told myself that you can’t really argue with that.

“Someone once said that if you sat a million monkeys at a million typewriters for a million years, one of them would eventually type out all of Hamlet by chance. But when we find the text of Hamlet, we don't wonder whether it came from chance and monkeys. Why then does the atheist use that incredibly improbable explanation for the universe? Clearly, because it is his only chance of remaining an atheist. At this point we need a psychological explanation of the atheist rather than a logical explanation of the universe“.

The reason why I giggled is that this could quite possibly be the simplest and most logical explanation or proof of a God that I have experienced thus far. Sure it is possible to put a million monkeys on a millions typewriters for a million years and have one of them type out Hamlet by chance, there is also a 50/50 chance of me winning the Lottery tonight. I either do or I don’t!!! Well actually I don’t because I don’t play.

The reason why I initially set out on this journey was to find a meaning in life. Why do I want to figure out the meaning of life? I know I risk boring you with my repetition of the fact that I have MD and that it sucks etc etc etc. Every day I get up and do my best to fight this disease, trust me, there is nothing fun about it, it is ugly, and so is cancer, CP, MS etc. I know that so far I am a lot better off than a lot of other people with MD, but that does not mean that it is not a fight. Think about it this way, there are 24 hours in a day, we all have certain things we need to do every day such as shower, eat, work etc. How often do you tell yourself that you wish there were 36 hours in a day rather than 24? Well guess what, if I want to live a “normal” life I actually need 36 hours. The moment I get out of bed in the morning, most of my day has already been taken away by the MD. I have to exercise to make sure my muscles don’t waste away, I have Dr’s appointments to go to not to mention the fact that everything takes longer. It takes me longer than other people to get to and from and in and out of the car. Going into a store takes longer, cleaning the house takes longer. All of the “take longers” are in reality wasted time, time taken away from me, time I wish I had so I could spend more time on want to’s rather than have to’s. I was listening to a Pod cast by Timothy Keller the other day, and his sermon hit right at home with me. Keller, said that the average person is afraid to ask what the meaning of their life is. He said that we are to busy to wonder, to busy to get on with our life. He gave a great example by stating that if he asked me to meet him at a specific place tomorrow I would want to know why, however, if he asked me for the meaning of my life I would not be able to answer him.

A while ago, I felt like Sisyphus, who every day would push a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down again. Every day I get up and do the same thing . I go to the pool, come home, go to work, go to bed and then get up and do the same thing over again the next day. It all seems so futile. “So what?” many of you will probably ask, and you have every right to ask that, most of you do the same thing. The point is, that I realized, long before most people my age, that we are fighting a losing battle, no matter what we do, we will lose in the end. Pushing the rock up the hill day after day after day makes me very tired. Several times I have asked myself why I keep pushing when the outcome tomorrow will be no different than today, the mountain could even be a little steeper tomorrow.

It was that realization that made me decide to look for a purpose in life, I have so many good things in my life, and I did not want the feeling of despair and meaninglessness to ruin it. The truth is, that people want to live, I want to live, but sometimes we are dealt a hand that simply isn’t fair, and we will start looking for something better. When setting out on my search I had no idea where I would go, my initial intention was to look into as many religions as possible, and try to find my own spirituality that way, a kind of intellectual quest. Well, that was before Sproul, Keller, Zacharias, and Lewis entered my life. It was before I carefully started asking people for directions. It was before I realized that there are no such things as coincidences in life, there are simply to many of them for them to be that, coincidences!

I have decided, that there is a God, there has to be. I have also decided that he is the Christian God who gave us the Bible, and created the world etc. It doesn’t make logical sense to me, but I cannot see how it makes emotional sense for him not to be there, it would take away the purpose of my life. But you know what? I am mad at him! I am mad at him because in order for my life to have meaning I have to believe in him! Other than the argument that my life has no meaning without God, there is always Kreeft’s argument, you can’t beat that, there has to be a God otherwise we would not have Hamlet.

Good Night

P

The atheist can't find God for the same reason that a thief can't find a policeman. Author Unknown



Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com

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