2/3 of the way

I got the test results from two of the tests they did at my cardiologist's office last week, and both my EKG and Echo came back normal. That is good news, not that I really thought something was wrong, but it is always intimidating when you get hooked up to beeping machines, and people don't tell you what the beeps mean because the Dr needs to review them first! I hope to hear the result of the holter monitor one of these days, and then I should be ready to start my Albuterol experiment, as soon as I can get a hold of my neurologist :-). It seems as if my patience is finally paying off!. I am cautiously optimistic, so keep your fingers crossed.

During my "delay" I was pretty productive, I finished Sproul's truths, and I will be summing up what I learned from it one of the next days. I also managed to get myself closed into a bathroom stall at a local restaurant due to no fault of my own. However, the incident has lead me to think about all the situations we as disabled people sometimes find ourselves in. The situations are often really no body's fault. The incident in the bathroom stall was caused by a door that was very tight, and someone pulled it all the way shut from the outside while I was in there. After what happened I really had two choices, to either laugh or to cry. I actually did a little bit of both, several times. I laughed it off in the restaurant (after my mother in law helped me out) to avoid crying. When I went to bed I cried because the entire situation was just so stupid, it could easily have been prevented. The restaurant really needs to keep their doors in working order. But if I wasn't stuck with this curse of a disease, I would not have been shut in in the first time as I would have used one of the other stalls. I am sure we have all experienced this kind of situation at some point in our lives, however, it seems to happen more frequently to people with disabilities.

I have noticed an ability to distance myself from embarrassing situations, at times I can just pretend that whatever is going on is not happening to me but to someone else who is talking through my mouth and using my body. It generally becomes real after a few days when I realize I was the one shut in the bathroom stall or whatever else happened. Once I realize that I was the one in the "stupid" situation, it feels as if a little piece of my pride gets taken away, and it gets harder and harder to grow it back. I have been told that once your pride is gone life becomes easier. I don't believe it!

Sleep tight!

P

Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com