The final piece.

I finally got the results from my last cardiology test, it came back fine as well. It is good to know that I am not dead, and that my heart essentially beats the way it is supposed to. Have you noticed how doctors use words that really aren't needed such as essentially, why couldn't he just say your heart beats the way it should or it does not beat the way it should. Essentially kind of leaves room for interpretation! Being the very patient person I am, I called my neurologist immediately after getting the information and left him a message. Apparently Doctors and regular people have different definitions of patience, as I have not heard back yet, and it has been a full 48 hours and counting :-) I was cautiously optimistic and hoped that I would have been able to start the albuterol by this weekend. If it keeps going at the rate it has been going so far, it will probably be around Christmas!

Remember Mike I mentioned in one of my first posts? If not, head back and read about him, he is a pretty neat guy!. Mike has been fighting brain cancer for the past year, and a while ago he found out from an MRI that there was no regrowth of his tumor, but that there were some white spots on his brain. They took him off his meds for a while to see what would happen. He had another MRI the other day, and the spots have not changed. The doctors are baffled and will now send him off to Duke as they have the best specialists. No one knows if this is good or bad. This uncertainty is hard, I know it is hard for Mike and his family, I know as I live it every day. MD is a very unpredictable disease, and every day I am afraid that I am going to notice that some new part doesn't work the way it should.

I just finished a second RC Sproul book called Reason to Believe, it was a skinny little thing so it didn't take me long to read. Much like the Truth book, Sproul is explaining why God allows certain things such as suffering. His answer is that suffering is directly related the the human fall, and that we all need to suffer in order to participate in the suffering of Christ. A misunderstanding is often, that suffering is directly related to sin, and that we all suffer in proportion to our own sin, we don't. Well that is good to know, I have at times wondered why certain people get hit by tragedy over and over again without having done anything obvious wrong.

What I find interesting is actually that my own approach to suffering is the simplistic way, in which I believe that my suffering is in direct proportion to something I have done wrong at some point in time. I often blame myself for having MD, when people ask me why I blame myself I struggle with coming up with a satisfying answer other than I just have to, it is no one elses's fault. I then wonder what I did wrong or what my brother did wrong, or what Mike did wrong and I can't find an answer to that, so maybe Sproul is right, suffering is not directly associated with your sin, if nothing else, it is a nice thought!!!!

I have added a page under the tab called home, where I have listed the books I have read so far if you feel like checking them out. I will update the list along the way.

I'm off to call my neurologist!!!

P
Contact email keepinghopejourney@gmail.com